Good evening! Tonight’s final dose is…
3 teaspoons of Red Borneo and 3 teaspoons of Red Maeng Da kratom.
I did everything a little earlier than I usually do since I have to get up earlier than usual (around 5:30 am) so I have a chance at having a decent start to my day.
Good night and thank you for reading!
Good afternoon! Today, for dinner, I had…
1 burger with cheese and ketchup with chips and salsa on the side.
I know… having burgers twice in one day isn’t healthy.
My plan for tonight is to eat early, take a shower, take my kratom, take my evening pills and go to to bed. Joe’s Mom has an 8:30 am doctor’s appointment tomorrow that I need to take her to so I need to be asleep earlier than usual. I don’t think there’s anywhere else I need to be tomorrow so I might be able to take a nap if I don’t get enough sleep tonight.
Good afternoon! Today, lunch ended up being at Bob Evans even though we didn’t go to her cardiac therapy. I ended up having a cheeseburger and fries with sweet tea. They don’t have green tea….
I finally pinpointed what was bothering me about that whole thing yesterday….. that guy bears a striking (to me) resemblance to my father. It’s hard to face the resemblance of someone who abused you so it’s no wonder that I freaked out a little and am still, to a degree, freaking out still. It feels good to figure out what was bothering me about all that. I went on and on about this in my head, wondering why this was such a huge deal to me and why it bothered me so much that I spent hours thinking about it. Now, I can let it go. I might talk about it a little later but overall, I’m feeling better about it.
Stay tuned…. I’m going to go make the burgers….
Good morning! Today, for breakfast, I had…
2 pieces of whole wheat toast with peanut butter, iced green tea, assorted vitamins and pain killers on the side.
I ran out of bananas and haven’t had time to go to the store to get more. I will say that having the AC has made a difference in how long the bananas last. They still ripen up quite fast but not nearly as fast as they did without it.
I’m still unclear as to how today will go. I heard Joe’s Mom up and moving around, saw her cereal bowl in the sink and heard her open a can of ginger ale so she might be up for her therapy today. If that’s the case, we’ll probably be eating out for lunch.
So, dinner is going to be burgers either way. We have buns already thawed out, there’s lettuce and spinach so… that’ll work for us, for today. I took out a pound of ground meat and a pound of ground turkey so I’ll be able to get 9-10 burgers if I’m lucky.
Stay tuned…
Good morning! Today’s 1st kratom dose is….
2 teaspoons of White Maeng Da and 2 teaspoons of Green Maeng Da kratom.
Even after a solid night’s sleep, I’m still bothered by that conversation I had yesterday afternoon. It was affecting me when I went to bed last night… Joe was saying good night to me and was standing close to the side of my bed while I had just paused a show on Netflix (Grace And Frankie) and was picking out a project to work on while I settled down to go to sleep (yes, knitting/crocheting is an integral part of that process) and for some reason, I felt so…. crowded, irritated and trapped at that moment. It wasn’t Joe’s fault, it was because of that conversation I had earlier that’s even now, still affecting me. I didn’t tell him that I was feeling all that, only that I just wanted to go to sleep so he left me alone.
I can’t tell what bothers me more, that that guy had no idea that I was feeling so uncomfortable while talking with him or that he seemed so intent on keeping the conversation going, even when Joe’s Mom was talking to me when she came out of the doctor’s office.
I really need to work hard to put this behind me once and for all. I need to just move on from this because this is taking up far too much of my time and more importantly, my limited energy. But, on the other hand, by writing this all out, I’m processing it mentally and emotionally and that’s a good thing. I’m one of those people who blow things off and breeze past them and never allow myself to process the negative things in my life and then, down the line when things like that happen again, I don’t know how to deal with them and I end up floundering around, looking stupid and awkward because I’m processing twice what I would have had to process so… lesson learned, process the bad stuff when it happens.
Stay tuned…
Frayed Knots 