Dosing Diary

Dosing diary 2/21/19

Once again, I’m going to update this post with dosings throughout the day.

Morning dose…

1 teaspoon of White Maeng Da and 2 teaspoons of Green Maeng Da.

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Dosing Diary

Dosing Diary 2/20/19

Morning dose….

1 teaspoon of Green Maeng Da and 1 teaspoon of White Maeng Da.

More later…

It’s later…

Afternoon dose…

1 teaspoon White Maeng Da and 2 teaspoons Green Maeng Da. Still enjoying the Maeng Das…..

So far, mood wise, I’ve been shifting between grumpy and fairly good. I won’t have time to write a post about all that as Joe and I have to go Walmarting tonight.

More later…

Evening dose…

5 teaspoons of Red Maeng Da kratom.

Good night all!!

Dosing Diary

Dosing diary 2/18/19

I’m going to start daily postings in this category because I’m playing around with my dosages and I’m not making up my afternoon dose in the morning as I’m feeling that I need something different at that time. I think the only time that I’ll do that is if I know that I’ll be busy and short on time.

So, I’m going to do one post and edit it as the day goes on, just to keep things neat and organized.

Morning kratom dose: 1 1/2 teaspoons of White Maeng Da and 1 1/2 teaspoons of Green Maeng Da.

I”m still favoring the Maeng Das more than I am other strains of kratom.

I skipped my afternoon dose as I’m going to taking my evening dose at 7:30-ish because I’m going to bed early tonight (have to get up early tomorrow).

So, evening dose was 4 teaspoons of Red Maeng Da. Still favoring the Maeng Da.

Good night all!

Feline and Canine matters, Kratom blog, mental health

Fighting the good fight…. and Thank You!

I want to start by thanking V for her comment on my previous Dosing Diary entry. Thank you for reaching out.

For whatever reason, depression has hit me hard the last few weeks. I’ve had to ask Joe for tianeptine on a few occasions. Today, I almost did but figured that because I got up early, I just needed to take my afternoon dose slightly early. Today has been tough.

I need to remind myself that I’m lucky. My life could have been a lot worse than it is right now. I could have not met my wonderful  boyfriend when I did and I could have very well been homeless or dead by now…. or worse…. in a really bad relationship with another abuser.

But, even being grateful for what I have isn’t a cure for depression… sometimes, remembering that I have a lot to be thankful for makes things better. Other times, it makes me feel like I have no reason to be depressed so I feel worse. This time, nothing seems to make me feel better.

I wish that I felt safe to go for a walk… sometimes, physical activity helps give me something to focus on. I can’t really settle down right now because Joe’s Mom is out and might need a ride so I’m ‘on call’ at the moment.

Just reading back what I typed, I do feel a little better…. not so desperate. Maybe after Joe’s Mom is home, I’ll be able to take a quick shower and go to bed on the early side. I didn’t get as much sleep as I had wanted to… Miss Callie kitty decided that sleeping on my chest might be a good idea.

Oh yeah, that reminds me… the other day, when I made the blog post about how Callie and Hershey take up room on the bed? In a weird twist, they didn’t sleep on my bed that night. Almost as if they read my blog post 😸

I’ve been reading a lot about emotional support animals lately. As much as Hershey loves me, I don’t think that he really qualifies as one. He is good at leaving me alone when I need space though. I think the thing he loved the most is when I’m doing laundry. He follows me around from the laundry room to my room (both in the basement) and up and down the stairs.

That said, they do play a part in helping with me fighting depression. Hershey (aka Boo, Ba Boo, Boo Boo, Bebes…) is sort of good at picking up my moods and being there for me but I wouldn’t call him an emotional support animal. I’m unsure as to what qualifies an animal to be that. I know that he’s unsuitable for being a therapy animal…. too skittish around new situations and freaks out when he needs meds. He’s a good cat but not in all situations.

There are times when I wish I had a dog but that’s adding a whole new layer of crazy to our mini cat colony. Even though we’ve lost a few to old age/disease, I wouldn’t feel okay adding a dog until we were down to at most…. 5 cats total. And, the dog would have to be exceptionally good with cats and patient with them. I only knew one dog like that and she was raised with them and she’s long gone. So, for now, that’s a mute topic.

Oh, one more thing… I don’t take my increased depression as a failure on the kratom’s part. I never saw kratom as a cure all and it still isn’t. I have to do other things besides kratom to tackle this. And maybe try a new strain or 2. Kratom is a tool to help me (and other people too).

Anyway, I better leave it here for now. Thanks to everyone who’s read it! Take care!!

 

Dosing Diary

Dosing diary 2/14/19

Just a little change up…

1 1/2 teaspoons of White Maeng Da and  1 1/2 teaspoons of Green Maeng Da. Green seems to have more mood boosting capabilities than white and I need them today. It feels like I’m losing the battle today.

Crafts and All Things Yarnie

All the shawls…

I love shawls. They’re so handy. When I had the room, I used to carry one folded up in my bag during the summer in case I ended up in a building with arctic AC. I might go back to doing that this summer…

My sweet boyfriend got me a book for my birthday called ‘Shawls For All‘. I’ve been wanting that book for a while. I managed to pick a shape (half circle) and decided to not have any lace pattern in the body of it because I just wanted something that I could pick up and put down without having to be a slave to a chart. I just have to remember 4 rows and only one has increases so I’m good to go.

Because this shawl is sort of a test knit for myself, I’m using yarn that I just want to use up (Shadow Lace Weight in Oregon Heather). It’s a brownish, pinkish complex kind of color that I had once loved but now, I’m trying to fall in love with it again. It looks much different when it’s knitted up than when it’s still in the ball or hank. One of the reasons why I’m using it is because I had the right amount (3 hanks) and it was literally right out in the open because I was gong to double strand that with Basalt Heather Shadow Lace Weight. And, if I like the results, I have some more colors that I have in the right amounts. I’d like to make a square or a circle but I don’t have enough of any one color outside of bare. I think I have 2 or 3 hanks of bare and each bare hank has 880 yards in it. Happily, I have at least 2 colors of Gloss lace weight that have 3 hanks or more.

I really need to finish this in a timely manner because the one I use daily is very well loved and might need to be replaced soon. It’s funny how a thin lace weight shawl can keep my back warm.

I overdyed the greenish blue Surefoot yarn so it’s more blueish green now. 0126192001a

It’s hard to photograph this color and get the true color of it. I had split one hank for socks but decided that the yarn is too soft and slippery for socks. I’ll keep them for either a cowl and fingerless mitts or a shawl…. can’t have too many of either shawls, cowls or fingerless mitts!

0126192002
Another dyed hank. This one is Stroll fingering sock yarn.

After I overdyed the 2 Surefoot hanks, I dyed that hank of Stroll fingering. I was just trying to see if I could get close to a dusty rose color and I got fairly close to it. I’ve already got that hank split for socks and socks started for Joe’s Mom. As soon as she saw the color, she claimed them for her own and I couldn’t deny her LOL It’s weird because the color looks a lot brighter in the pic than it does in real life. It might have still been wet when I took that picture.

Anyway, it’s late and I’m tired. Time for bed and I still have to move some kitties so there’s room for me.

Thanks for reading!! Take care!